You know you're blog needs improvement if.....

Ok, so as you may be able to tell, I've grown a bit frustrated with the critic and his choices/ blogs lately. I guess I'm disappointed because although I've offered constructive, worthwhile criticism. Yet the blogs, for the most part, still stink. In an attempt to help the critic out, I've decided to steal a page from Jeff Foxworthy and compose a short "you know your blog needs improvement if...."

1. You know your blog needs improvement if you order the same 3 things over and over again yet somehow find a new way to talk about how amazing they are.

2. You know your blog needs improvement if your vocabulary is compared to a homosexual thesaurus.

3. You know your blog needs improvement if you start reviewing every single meal you eat, including random lunches and diners.

4. You know your blog needs improvement if your readership declines more than the stock market over the last 6 months.

5. You know your blog needs improvement if people begin openly wondering and questioning when you will start blogging better

6. You know your blog needs improvement if you've written 19 blogs and still refuse to name your dining partners.

7. You know your blog needs improvement if you only have 3 blog types with different words 1) This well known amazing place is amazing, 2) I am a "critic" and will tell you why this tiny little place you've never heard of is SO MUCH BETTER than every other little place you've never heard of and 3) This well known place was over rated because the waiter didn't give me a blow job". That's it. 19 blogs and they've all been in one of those 3 formats. Not good times.

8. You know your blog needs improvement if you openly gush over your man crush on your blog (Mario Battali, Bobby Flay, and some guy from top chef.)

9. You know your blog needs improvement if one of oyur good friends feels the need to critique your blog because it needs such improvement.

10. You know your blog needs improvement if you review a place in Queens!!!!! I mean, ^%&^^ Queens!!!