A Voce-a comeback bigger than the music city miracle

On the heals of last week's chicago cubs like bed wetting / choke job, I was really hoping for a better review.I also feel the need to bring something to the attention of my readers. Apparently wodstein's roommate has started his own food blog. In my mind, this is the best spin off idea since Frasier.In fact, we will now have 2 blogs that are based off of Bronstein's blog. Bronstein must feel like a non retarded William Hung-deep down he's just doing this blog for his own good and never imagined this many people would pay attention to him. and when you first saw it you thought "wow, this will be funny for a few times and then eventually go away." Only somehow it grew in popularity and is now fairly mainstream and the only way this can end is with bronstein making a holiday cd (http://www.cduniverse.com/search/xx/music/pid/6762512/a/Hung+For+The+Holidays.htm)
Anyhow, this introduction was longer than Conan O brien's nightly musing's that take up half the show. At least it's not last call with Carson Daly. On to the review

Duck Meatball notes-meatballs 2 weeks in a row? It seems the critic is a bigger ball whore than Audrina Partridge. (speaking of the hills, is there a real person comparison to spencer pratt. He's actually such a douche he's kind of likable, and after a while you start to hate Heidi's sister. Besides,spencer got a bad rap-everyone knows liz gately started the sex tape rumor.)The review itself was actually quite good. The critic does a nice job of explaining why the meatballs weren't good. I would have liked to have heard more about this rotten sauce,but overall a good start. Of course, Ricky Martin's career got off to a good start too,and we all know how that ended up.

Caprese Salas notes-Every now and then the Kansas city chiefs string together a few good plays in a row. Why is this relevant? Well, every now and then the critic strings together a couple of nice paragraphs. At least Bronstein's coach isn't Herm Edwards. I gotta give the critic props here too-he makes note of the small portions and even lets me know tomatoes are in season in august. This knowledge is probably as useful as the middle names of the 3 Tanner sisters (Jo, Judith, Elizabeth), but it's a nice touch. Well done critic.

Crostini Toscana notes-The critic brings the flavor to life and also again mentions the small portions. I'm not quite sure what josh is used to, but in my imagination these appetizers are smaller than rabbit poop. That's all here.

Seared scallop notes-It seems the critic didn't like this dish very much. In fact it seems duller than most of his reviews (Zing!!). After reading it I felt kinda nauseous and made the eli manning face, only to watch eli throw an interception that was ran back for a Td, upon which eli made the eli manning face. Great times indeed. This will come back to haunt me if the giants win the superbowl again,but let's hope that doesn't happen.

Farfalle notes-earlier I tore apart the critic for claiming he was a better cook then a professional at ThaiNy. Yet when he claims Wod Mike's farfalle is better than A Voce's it seems believable. I don't know why, but Wod Mike seems like the kind of kid that make's good farfalle. Than again I thought "Baywatch nights" AND "the new adventures of old christine" would be good Tv shows. So what do i know? I do know the critic says don't eat this farfel.

Riggatoni notes-well, there were a couple issues with this. One, you're a critic and it seems you ate very little due to the small portions. Why not at least sample this dish. What if i somehow end up at A voce and someone recommends the riggatoni? I'll end up more indecisive than Algazi at those old school Friday night dinner's (name dropper/shout out alert!!). Speaking of name droppers,why not name the person you eat with. We all know who it is. She constantly has your blog in her away message. This is the worst kept secret since Lindsay Lohan denied having a coke problem.

Dessert notes-apparently the critic is a real jerk and considered skipping out on the bill. That's just wrong. Even in The Sopranos, when the NJ mob kills people at the dinner table, Silv always thrown down a 100 before he walks out. I'm glad he stayed because it led to this line : "A gourmet doughnut is like a 100 little orgasms packed into one tasty treat.". I'm pretty sure I overheard Richard Simmons say the same thing to Clay Aiken once. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

In closing, this review was actually informative and to some degree,entertaining. I understand where the critic is coming from when complaining about the high prices and small portions. Still, for as much as he killed this place, he did seem to like certain dishes. You could even make the argument the opinion itself was as inconsistent as David Spade in "Just Shoot Me". Still, a step in the right direction. As Ari Gold says "This town loves a comeback,and since Britney fucked hers up, there's room for you." Or something like that. Seriously though, this review wasn't that great because Wods did a nice job and there wasn't much to pick apart. Let's see if that changes next week.

Usefulness-4: A pretty good review, I'll remember not to go to A Voce. Thanks Josh.

Value added-4: Again, a very good job. Huge turn around from the train wreck that was Perilla.

Decipherability-5: Whatever that means.

Humor/ Enjoyment-3: While not knee slappingly funny, it was an enjoyable read. I'll give credit where credit's due. Sorry this wasn't my best work,it's been a long day. This was more rushed out than Aquaman 2. I hope you enjoyed it.

Total Score: 16/20