cavatappo-bad food, decent review.

I think one of the good things about my reviews are that they actually help wods become a better critic. after admittedly harsh criticism over blogs that make "paris hilton's new BFF" seem interesting, Josh finally responds with a good review. I'm proud of him too, his draught was almost as long as Paulie Shore's. On to the review.

For once the critic doesn't get too wrapped up in himself (to start out at least) and explains to us why this place is bad and the waiter was subpar. I enjoyed reading it. And as the critic selfishly suggests, his blog will keep me from going to this place. I guess the moral of the story is, when you search for a "diamond in the rough" every week, sometimes your metal detector gives you channukah gelt wrappers (tin foil). Or Christmas ornaments for our goyem friends. I do appreciate wods' letting us know how bad this place is.

Shrimp and Garlic Pizza: Well, it appears this dish was not very good. It reminds the critic of DiGiorno pizza, and it doesn't even have dick vitale making a commercial about it. Wait,that's actually a good thing. but the pizza's still bad. It actually sounds grosser than this broccoli cheddar soup the critic made me one time.....

Assorted Italian meat plate: also a bad dish with a good review. The critic makes his first funny joke of the year. "I expect a little better quality then packaged lunch meat and frozen pizza. The only thing worse would be the packaged lunch meat on top of the frozen pizza which I am sure was an option on the menu." GOOD JOB JOSH. You were successful in your bid to make me laugh before the detroit lions won a game. It was close though. Still the critic claiming he's not a food snob is like shore claiming he's not impulsive or Fatty claiming he doesn't love himself.

Assorted Cheeese plate: Not surprisingly this was wod's favorite dish. "anyone who knows me knows that" he says. Sounds to me like wods is more biased towards cheese than Mark Furman was against OJ. And that's really saying something. And if you're thinking I just crossed the line, well, you're right.

Mussels and Calamari: These 2 items go together Mike Vick and PETA (plaxico burress and anti-gun associations were the runner up for that joke). Well, maybe they go together a little more. but not much. why are they grouped together then? Bc wods "can't wait for this review to be over". I have to admit,this really bothers me. you make us read bullshit blurbs about switch and joe's shanghai for multiple weeks, finally come up with some quality writing,and then quit right before the finish line. I don't get it. After cooling down, i read a little bit about how neither dish was good. I need to speak with Stan (one of the "secret" dining partners) to find out if this place was really so bad or if wods is exagerating. If it really is that bad, it may be one of the worst establishments ever. From this description the meals we made in schmelver sound more attractive.

In closing, I am reminded of a note we wrote sr year in college and i saw again while at shore's this weekend. "bronstein takes his cooking way too far." Take out cooking and input food in general and you have the most accurate statement in the history of mankind. Still,this review was good,and detailed. I'm hopeful future reviews will build on this effort. On to the scores.

Usefulness: 5- Assuming wods wasn't exaggerating about this place (still TBD, I'll keep you posted) it sounds like the chef was worse than Mo Gumps (you only get this if you were in beta sig). The thought of a Gummo is enough to scare me away from a restaraunt any time.

Value added-4 I had never heard of this spot, but wods created some value by advising me not to go there. After 2 categories he has eclipsed the aggregate score of his last 2 entires. Yay!!!

Decipherability- While talking a few days ago, wods and i had a discussion that this category isn't even real. since he had the where-with-all (def. spelled wrong) to call me out on it,he gets a 5.

Humor-I like to laugh. It happned a few times here. Worth a 4 as well.

Total score=18/20 !!! all time high!!